Thursday, September 28, 2006

Miles in the Sky

On this day in 1991, we lost Miles Davis, one of my favorite musicians and arguably, one of the greatest jazz musicians of all time.

listen to Kind of Blue today.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Blues People.

This morning I heard the news of Terrell Owen's alleged suicide attempt (http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/football/nfl/09/27/owens.report/index.html?cnn=yes). Many people are shocked, saying that they never would have guessed that TO was struggling with depression. But I think there's another issue here--depression and suicide are issues in the Black community that are still tremendous taboos. Somehow, we still seem to think that depression, therapy, etc. are "white issues" and that only White people suffer from it or need therapy for it.

I've known people who have committed suicide, and I know people who have suffered clinical depression. It's a serious subject, and one that needs to be talked about in depth in our community. Read on.

-L.

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/depression/minorities_5.asp

"It's a hidden crisis and it's killing more young black men then ever. Suicide is a taboo subject among many cultures, but the denial of mental health disorders runs rampant among African Americans. Between 1980 and 1995, the suicide rate of black males doubled to about eight deaths per 100,000 people. The authors of a new book are uncovering an unspoken crisis in the African American community.

It was 1979 but Amy Alexander remembers the day like it was yesterday."He was just very wonderful," recalls Amy Alexander, author of Lay My Burden Down" I looked up to him. I admired him."She was just a teenager when her brother Carl took his own life. Still reeling from the tragedy, Amy teamed up with renowned Harvard psychiatrist Alvin Poussaint to dispel the myths of suicide among the black community."It is very much a misperception that black people don't commit suicide and that comes in part from a need the very real and legitimate need for black people for many years to be very strong," says Alexander.

They see mental disorder and depression as a sign of personal weakness or moral failure," says psychiatrist Alvin Poussaint, M.D. of the Harvard Medical School.The suicide rate among black men has doubled since 1980 making suicide the third leading cause of death for black men between the ages 15 and 24. Poussaint calls his own brother's death from heroin abuse a slow form of suicide.

"Psychologists and psychiatrists have to pay attention to those types of behaviors and look at them in a context in the same way they would look at someone who, in fact, was depressed or maybe suicidal," says Poussaint.

Like others, African Americans may display depression through physical symptoms like headaches and stomachaches and may complain of an aching misery."There must be an increased awareness about the unique aspects of mental health in black Americans."

Doctor Poussaint says one reason African-Americans may not seek out professional help is because only about 2.3% of all psychiatrists in the United States are African American. Amy feels it's important that culturally sensitive training become a part of the standard mental healthcare education process. She emphasizes mental health problems are often physically related and can be treated through talk therapy or through medication.

STARTLING STATISTICS:

Between 1980 and 1995, the suicide rate among black men doubled to nearly 8 deaths per 100,000 people. Suicide is now the third leading cause of death among black men between the ages of 15 and 24.SILENT SITUATION:Despite this increase in numbers, the topic of suicide is still considered "taboo". While this is true nationwide among all groups, Alvin Poussaint, M.D., a Harvard psychiatrist, says the stigma is even stronger in the black community. One problem, he says, is the stigma associated with depression itself. More than 60 percent of black individuals don't see depression as a mental illness, which makes it unlikely they will seek help for it. Dr. Poussaint says it goes back to the days when blues music was invented as a way to sing about pain and distress. He says blacks just consider it part of life. He also says blacks pride themselves on being strong after surviving 250 years of slavery and years of segregation and discrimination. Depression, then, is seen as a sign of weakness.

OVERCOMING THE PROBLEM:

Dr. Poussaint says the first step to help is public awareness. He says, "You can't prevent illness or suicide if you don't talk about it and gain some knowledge about it." Along with this, he says education about the warning signs of suicide is needed. These signs include:
* Irritability
* Changes in appetite
* Changes in sleep habits
* Headaches, stomach aches, pain all over
* Chronic fatigue - not wanting to get up in the morning
* Sadness that continues for up to a month - spontaneous crying
* Social withdrawal - a loss of interest in activities and things once considered enjoyable

SLOW SUICIDE

Dr. Poussaint also talks about what he calls "slow suicide." This is other self- destructive behavior that can accompany depression. This includes drug addiction, alcohol addiction, gang involvement, and other high-risk behaviors.GET HELPDr. Poussaint says if these characteristics describe you or anyone you know, get help. Don't deny the problem. He says, "It is not a moral weakness, and it doesn't mean you are less of a person because you reach out for help."The National Hopeline Network 1-800-SUICIDE provides access to trained telephone counselors, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Or for a crisis center in your area, go here."

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

...but some days, i sit and wish i was a kid again (c) ahmad

today when i was on the metro, an interesting childhood memory flashed across my mind. Highlights Magazine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highlights) was my favorite thing to read as a little kid. i remembered my mom and i solving the "hidden pictures" puzzle. i really loved those...lookin for the picture santa hat inside the picture of a giant dog, stuff like that. she'd read me stories from the newest Highlights and then we'd get to Hidden Pictures, and we'd say together in a singsong voice, "Hiiideeeen Pictuuuuures!" and i'd grin and laugh.

i miss that sometimes. i can't believe i had so much less to think about back then. or that there was a time when i had so little to think about. now it's how i'm going to pay my next bills, how i can avoid eating ramen for the next two weeks, and how the hell i'm going to afford grad school. why can't life stay as easy as finding the hidden picture of a santa hat? or as predictable as the end of a Bearstein Bears book?

playing dress up. that was fun too. wearing my mom's clothes and pretending to be mommy. or a princess. or a lawyer. or anything. i can't pretend anymore. and hell, i gotta PAY to play dress up now! and H & M doesn't seem very cheap anymore.

i remember when choosing and keeping friends depended solely on whether or not i traded by ho-ho with them for a fruit roll-up. i think as you get older a consideration of REAL emotion and raw honesty and loyalty is more important, but the issue is that everyone's perception of these things is different and depends on your life experience. and experience can make you either optimistic and hopeful or judgmental and perhaps cynical.

sometimes i definitely wish it was as easy as it was when i was 5. this whatever years/pre-quarterlife crisis time, in a word, SUCKS. no matter what aspect--job, dating, money, fam--it nowhere near ideal. but at the same time...i know i couldn't have it any other way.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Thoughts on the random: Pandora, office snacks, the non-cuddler, and No-Debo.

I know it's been a while since my last post. My work-life balance is laughable right now. Nevertheless, I will talk about the above topics in that order, and i may add things to the list as i see fit.

Pandora stations: L-dub's current obsession

About two weeks ago I was bored at work and I needed something to make the day more interesting, or at least make it go by quicker. I finally checked out something called Pandora Radio Stations...it's an internet radio station that you customize by entering what artists or songs you like. So far, I've created a a neo soul station, an oldies station, a new york hip hop station, a southern rap/crunk station, a straight R&B station, and of course a West Coast rap station (four fingaz up, two twisted in da middle :-) . I don't know what else to say, but Pandora.com is the truth!

The office snack guy.

so i don't know about y'all, but in my office (in fact in most offices i've been in) there's that guy who always has snacks at his desk that he often shares with the rest of the office. it's cool, but also kinda funny to me. it reminds me of that kid in middle school who always brought big bags candy and stuff with him to sell on the playground during recess or whenever.


revisiting the non-cuddler.

so some of you may remember when i was talking about men who don't like to cuddle. now i don't know how much this rings true, but a guy friend of mine believes that depending on the type of relationship you have--cuddling is either part of the arrangement or not. ie, if they're just a random fling, then it may not be expected that you're gonna like...lay in bed and cuddle cuz it's like that (and that's the way it is, boo).

i just don't think some guys get it though. most women wanna cuddle. point blank period. it's arguably---the best part of whatever you were doing leading up to it. i think if some men did it more, then perhaps more fun activities would ensue--that's all i'm saying. however, if it's a random fling---perhaps the guy doesn't care about that, right? this isn't the case in every scenario of course, but it could be the case at least in a few instances. but what do i know? i sleep alone.

No-Debo on the Metro.

my newest pet peeve HAS to be people who try to "Debo" their way into an already crowded train cuz they're too damn pressed to wait for the next train during rush hour. this has got to be one of the dumbest things ever, mostly because during the morning hours the trains are about 5 minutes apart if not less than that. so why push your way in? they're even more annoying than those idiots who stand on the left side of the elevator when they KNOW they're supposed to stand right and pass left.

maybe next time that happens i'll push them outside of the doors before the chime sounds.


or not.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Public Service Announcement:

I am a guest contributor to Honorable Media this week...peep my article on R&B's Women to Watch:

http://www.honorablemedia.com/blog/uncategorized/262

ten years already.


Tupac Shakur died ten years ago today...I grew up Cali and i had just started middle school when it happened....i remember coming home from a class camping trip right before he passed, and getting a call from my homegirl down the block....tupac got shot! for real though! turn on channel 7!...i remember that he was in the hospital, and everybody was like "he's gonna be okay, he's gonna make it...talkin to other people it seems like that was the sentiment they expressed as well...as if he was a fallen superhero...makaveli came out and it was mad spooky....the image of the crucifix, the track "hail mary"....then the "he ain't dead" rumors...ain't that him in the "sweetest thing" video! peep it again!
the vendors down on slauson and crenshaw in LA are still pushin pac t-shirts....but around that time you could cop them literally anywhere...
nikki giovanni's "thug life" tattoo....
countless tributes...bet playin and replayin all the tupac videos...
then, about 6 years later, 50 hopin we love him like we love pac...right.
people can say what they about 2pac's skills as a rapper...but i think it's pretty hard to "swagger jack" somebody like Pac...
but that's just me.
rest in peace, brother.


Sunday, September 10, 2006

what he was a businessman instead of a business, man?

i was having a conversation recently with my aunt about beyonce. as i've said earlier, i'm not necessarily a beyonce hater, and i never have been. but i'm honest with mine. i know that she isn't the end-all be-all to Black music, and if it wasn't for her daddy and other numerous people around her she wouldn't have any of the fame she has now. point blank, i don't find her to be very smart or intellectual. like...if she wasn't a singer, what the hell would she do in life that would bring her as much success as her singing career does?

that switched the convo to another topic: which celebs do we find to be the smartest in the bunch, and furthermore, which ones do we think that if life dealt them a different hand and they had another occupation, they'd still rock our world? we created a shortlist, and i think it's worth sharing. wanna hear it? heah'go!

Andre 3000-the man is just very intelligent and if the way he approach life as a whole is any way like the way he approaches his music--there's no telling what he would have done.

Kanye should have finished college, and that's all i'm gonna say about that.

Alicia Keys

Nas

Jay-Z shouldn't be on this list cuz he's already a business man, i guess

Madlib

Jill Scott-i don't know i could see her being a social worker or maybe a college professor.

David Banner should have finished his masters.

Gabrielle Union always comes off as being very smart to me, and i don't know why.

i don't know, this list turned out to be really short, and i don't know if it's because we just weren't thinking hard enough or because there really aren't very many people in show biz who have got it like that. something tells me it's the latter.

Friday, September 08, 2006

save our girls.

i have no further comment.

Youth Gang Rape Reported in Milwaukee

By CARRIE ANTLFINGER, Associated Press Writer

3 hours agoUPDATED 1 HOUR 55 MINUTES AGO

MILWAUKEE - It began with a crush, police said, and turned into one of the most shocking crimes in Milwaukee's long, violent summer: an 11-year-old girl was sexually assaulted by as many as 20 boys while a 16-year-old girl she was romantically interested in watched and coached her.

The 16-year-old and a 15-year-old boy have been charged in juvenile court in the alleged attack, which authorities said took place Monday in a house on the city's north side. The teenage girl's 40-year-old uncle might also be charged, authorities said.

The youth's names were not released because of their ages.

Investigators are still attempting to identify and locate the boys who were in the house.
"We're dealing with a lot of nicknames, so we're trying to track down these people," said prosecutor Matthew Torbenson.

The 11-year-old girl told police she was interested in the teenage girl, who looked and dressed like a boy, authorities said in court records. She and two friends went to the teen's house, where the child performed oral sex on three teenage boys, the court records said.

The teenage girl's 40-year-old uncle admitted he also had sex with the 11-year-old and told police that his niece was coaching the child, the records said.

The 11-year-old told police she then went to the basement, where there were about 15 males and "began to choose who she wanted to perform oral sex on," the records said.

The teenage girl told police that the 11-year-old had told her she wanted to perform oral sex on the boys in the house, according to court records. The 16-year-old denied encouraging her.

The teenage girl and the 15-year-old boy were charged with being a party to sexual assault. Torbenson said he will probably seek to have them tried as adults.

The reported attack punctuated Milwaukee's felonious summer, which started with a Memorial Day weekend in which 28 people were shot. Though homicide numbers are lower than 2005, assaults are up by 22 percent and robberies by 36 percent, Police Chief Nan Hegerty told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

Several mob attacks have taken place in Milwaukee's inner city in recent years. In 2002, more than a dozen people, mostly boys, chased a man through the streets and beat him to death with shovel handles, rakes and tree limbs.

A mentally ill man died after being beaten and robbed by a group in 2004. Four days after that attack, a 14-year-old boy was kicked, punched and hit on the head with a piece of lumber after he exchanged words with a girl. He was in a coma for two weeks. Also that summer, four brothers were beaten by a group armed with bats, bottles, sticks and socks stuffed with canned food.

Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett described the latest alleged crimes as disgusting and deeply troubling.

"When you have people working in concert and no one in the group is showing conscience, that's a real problem," he said.

"It almost leaves me speechless," said Barbara Nuell-Moore, director of the neighborhood-improvement group Project Respect. "It is just senseless acts of violence. It is inhumane. It is embarrassing to the city of Milwaukee and its people. ... There should be outrage."

Open Letter to Facebook from Mark Zuckerberg

if you remember from yesterday's post---and probably from the influx of news articles and wikipedia entries---you know that facebook has gone haywire, with the Feed feature allowing everyone to see your every facebook move. since then, Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook's creator, has written a letter of apology and a promise to give us a choice to turn off the feature if desired. Read on. (note the bolded statements--that's my embellishment. why was this so hard to realize for him do you think? i welcome your comments.)

We really messed this one up. When we launched News Feed and Mini-Feed we were trying to provide you with a stream of information about your social world. Instead, we did a bad job of explaining what the new features were and an even worse job of giving you control of them. I'd like to try to correct those errors now.

When I made Facebook two years ago my goal was to help people understand what was going on in their world a little better. I wanted to create an environment where people could share whatever information they wanted, but also have control over whom they shared that information with. I think a lot of the success we've seen is because of these basic principles.
We made the site so that all of our members are a part of smaller networks like schools, companies or regions, so you can only see the profiles of people who are in your networks and your friends. We did this to make sure you could share information with the people you care about. This is the same reason we have built extensive privacy settings – to give you even more control over who you share your information with.

Somehow we missed this point with Feed and we didn't build in the proper privacy controls right away. This was a big mistake on our part, and I'm sorry for it. But apologizing isn't enough. I wanted to make sure we did something about it, and quickly. So we have been coding nonstop for two days to get you better privacy controls. This new privacy page will allow you to choose which types of stories go into your Mini-Feed and your friends' News Feeds, and it also lists the type of actions Facebook will never let any other person know about. If you have more comments, please send them over.

This may sound silly, but I want to thank all of you who have written in and created groups and protested. Even though I wish I hadn't made so many of you angry, I am glad we got to hear you. And I am also glad that News Feed highlighted all these groups so people could find them and share their opinions with each other as well.

About a week ago I created a group called Free Flow of Information on the Internet, because that's what I believe in – helping people share information with the people they want to share it with. I'd encourage you to check it out to learn more about what guides those of us who make Facebook. Tomorrow at 4pm est, I will be in that group with a bunch of people from Facebook, and we would love to discuss all of this with you. It would be great to see you there.
Thanks for taking the time to read this,

Mark

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Introducing Hanifa Walidah

Loving this video....i think we're so used to black lesbians being fetishized in black music that seeing them in a natural, normal setting is "weird" to us. i'm not a lesbian and i don't claim to be. but this is a very sexy portrayal of women loving other women to me.

a while back i took a critical theory class, and we talked about how female relationships always exist along a lesbian continuum. it's things like this that remind me of that (peep the hug sequence).

if only black gay lifestyles weren't so looked down upon.

i just find it very interesting that in hip hop at least, two gay men is unheard of, but two gay women is a man's fantasy and fetish even. men have made videos about it, made songs about it, all of that. another strange double standard in the world of sexual politics and black sexuality.

oh yeah, and the track is kinda hot.

thoughts on the random: skinny jeans, sexual politics, facebook=stalker net, and my fav. time of the year.


the above topics will be talked about in that order and i may add things to the list as they come to me.

on: skinny jeans.

i'm really feelin this new look...skinny jeans, sexy top, cute little pumps. and i want to try it. but....i dunno, i just think that maybe it doesn't work for me. see, i have a big booty, and those who know me...know that my big booty cannot be denied. i don't know if i am bold enough really to wear skinny jeans...cuz...i mean....skinny jeans...the name alone implies that...one needs to be skinny.

now i'm not a fat girl, but by some [men's] standards i am considered thick. i may not have any business wearin nothin called... "skinny jeans," but...f*ck it, i think i may try it.

i mean if ashlee simpson can do it, then dammit, i can do it too!

on: issues regarding sexual politics.

this weekend i read somewhere that about 5% of men everywhere actually NEED to use magnum sized prophylactics (you know what i am talking about. if you don't, you may want to do yourself and favor and stop reading). the other 95% either a.-don't need them and don't use them or b.-are lying to themselves and to their partners. now i think this is most likely true (especially option B)....but now i find myself looking for the men who belong in that 5%....lol, j/k (maybe :-)

and another thing, what is it with men not wanting to cuddle? i don't understand. i've only met one man who wanted to cuddle and he was the best guy i've ever gone out with. so what is it with these losers who don't like to cuddle? don't even get me STARTED on the ones who can't cuddle right. they can miss me with all that.

on: people who stare you down on the metro.

yes. i hate these people. but what i learned was that if you stare back, they will think you are crazy and will avert their eyes. this dude on the train kept staring at me, and not only was he very close to me near the door---an invasion of privacy i'm sure---but his eyes were just...on me, and it made me uncomfortable. so i shot him this mean ass look as if to say: the f*ck you lookin at? he immediately backed off. see? as long as you LOOK like you can kick a dude's ass, you're usually okay.

on: facebook becoming the new COINTELPRO.

i can't handle it. i logged onto my facebook today to find out that they had completely overhauled the damn thing. now they have this thing called a frickin "news feed" and an accompanying "mini-feed" for your personal profile. apparently, they tell you who's just poked who, who is now in a relationship with somoene else, who just wrote on who's wall, even who's goin to what events, and where the fuckin events are at!

it's just too much info for me....i don't WANT to know that you're goin to the Kappa party on friday, i don't WANT to know that Jamal broke up with Keisha and now he's looking for whatever he can get. i don't WANT people to know if i'm suddenly in a relationship with the Ape at Umass or some shit. i simply think it's invasive. this is sooooo not the business. but i'll tell you what is...

on: my favorite time of the year in DC

that's right. CBC WEEK! the week of the Congressional Black Caucus Annual Legislative Conference has GOT to be my favorite time of the year in DC. great chances to hear powerful Black speakers, massive happy hours, handsome black professional men in suits, and plus Love nightclub shuts down and becomes mad classy. i'm so very excited. i think i might skip out on the Zeta/Sigma/Thurgood Marshall CBC reception though this year, because i want to check out the Urban League's young professionals network event. and it's the same night.

for background: www.cbcfinc.org