short attention spans and short skirts

I recently was having a conversation with my aunt's fiancee. He was on his way to a wedding and his daughter was going to be a bridesmaid. I said, "oh. your daughter is pretty young to have friends who are getting married."

i found out that it was actually her older cousin who is 26. he said that they had met their second year in college and that they had been together ever since. to which i replied,

"i need someone to explain this 'met in college' shit to me...cuz that's not what happened when my ass was in college."

then he explained that they went to a small rural school in pennsylvania, and that the community there, esp. for black people, was very small. "i guess the culture of the school was since the community was so small, once you found someone who was halfway decent you kinda just stuck with them til it was time to get married."

what a novel concept that was to me. i went to school in a fairly busy city setting, in a place full of other ambitious, young professionals of all races and backgrounds. it's a place that, for the most part, it's possible to date more than one person and--if you're careful--they never find out about it. but also, because there are so many quality potential mates here, the competition is turned up a notch. for instance, i can name at least 5 dateable men who i'm friends with (names withheld to protect the innocent...or not so innocent :-) as well as five dateable women.

so...as such, i find that the people here--esp. the men--have VERY short attention spans when it comes to dating. they'll date you, then one day, they disappear because they've found someone who was smarter, prettier, funnier, better in bed, than you were. now...you can miss me with the standard "he's just not that into you" quip--that's a given. but there are other implications to this. i honestly believe that with so many eligible singles around, it's easy for a guy to simply not have his attention kept long enough to give one girl a shot that lasts more than a week or two.

if i had a dollar for everytime a guy has called, wined, dined, and then disappeared into the night, i'd be a millionaire and could probably quit my job. in fact, that kind of behavior has happened at least three times this very summer! it's incredible to me. but i think it all goes back to the fact that i'm sure most men--and some women---think to themselves, "there are so many other guys/girls out there. and what's more, there's at least one of them who are smarter, prettier/more handsome, funnier, and probably better in bed than this girl/guy is." and then before you know it....*poof.* into thin air.

i'm sure i've done it too though. i don't call. he calls. i hit the reject button. he calls. he leaves a message. i listen to said message. as i listen to said message, i meet another guy at the happy hour that the voicemail guy is interrupting. the other guy buys me drinks. the other guy is a law student. the voicemail guy then reverts to myspace messaging. i ignore. and ignore. and then ignore until i never hear from him again. and by that time, the happy hour guy has already taken me out on three dates!

i think if you took this theory and observed it in other cities like maybe new york, los angeles, or even atlanta....you'd see it happen there too.