Monday, August 28, 2006

short attention spans and short skirts

I recently was having a conversation with my aunt's fiancee. He was on his way to a wedding and his daughter was going to be a bridesmaid. I said, "oh. your daughter is pretty young to have friends who are getting married."

i found out that it was actually her older cousin who is 26. he said that they had met their second year in college and that they had been together ever since. to which i replied,

"i need someone to explain this 'met in college' shit to me...cuz that's not what happened when my ass was in college."

then he explained that they went to a small rural school in pennsylvania, and that the community there, esp. for black people, was very small. "i guess the culture of the school was since the community was so small, once you found someone who was halfway decent you kinda just stuck with them til it was time to get married."

what a novel concept that was to me. i went to school in a fairly busy city setting, in a place full of other ambitious, young professionals of all races and backgrounds. it's a place that, for the most part, it's possible to date more than one person and--if you're careful--they never find out about it. but also, because there are so many quality potential mates here, the competition is turned up a notch. for instance, i can name at least 5 dateable men who i'm friends with (names withheld to protect the innocent...or not so innocent :-) as well as five dateable women.

so...as such, i find that the people here--esp. the men--have VERY short attention spans when it comes to dating. they'll date you, then one day, they disappear because they've found someone who was smarter, prettier, funnier, better in bed, than you were. now...you can miss me with the standard "he's just not that into you" quip--that's a given. but there are other implications to this. i honestly believe that with so many eligible singles around, it's easy for a guy to simply not have his attention kept long enough to give one girl a shot that lasts more than a week or two.

if i had a dollar for everytime a guy has called, wined, dined, and then disappeared into the night, i'd be a millionaire and could probably quit my job. in fact, that kind of behavior has happened at least three times this very summer! it's incredible to me. but i think it all goes back to the fact that i'm sure most men--and some women---think to themselves, "there are so many other guys/girls out there. and what's more, there's at least one of them who are smarter, prettier/more handsome, funnier, and probably better in bed than this girl/guy is." and then before you know it....*poof.* into thin air.

i'm sure i've done it too though. i don't call. he calls. i hit the reject button. he calls. he leaves a message. i listen to said message. as i listen to said message, i meet another guy at the happy hour that the voicemail guy is interrupting. the other guy buys me drinks. the other guy is a law student. the voicemail guy then reverts to myspace messaging. i ignore. and ignore. and then ignore until i never hear from him again. and by that time, the happy hour guy has already taken me out on three dates!

i think if you took this theory and observed it in other cities like maybe new york, los angeles, or even atlanta....you'd see it happen there too.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

"In my mother's house there is still God"

The other day i was thinking about the scene in Lorraine Hansberry's Raisin in the Sun when Beneatha, the daughter says that there is no God and no need for religion. Lena Younger, her mother, slaps her clear across the face and tells her to repeat the words, "In my mother's house there is still God."

This scene raises a lot of questions for me about what happens in that time between leaving your parents and becoming an adult. My parents taught me a set of morals, values, and even religious doctrine in hopes that they've "raised me right" so that I would not depart from it as the Bible verse says. And they did raise me right; i successfully graduated from college and living on my own in DC. However, it's amazing how as you get older, you feel the need to create your own doctrine, your own set of rules, ones that seem to best match were you are in life.

It's not a matter of respect or lack thereof for your parent's teachings. It's not even a sign of disobedience and rebellion. It's merely a sign of learning what works for you, what doesn't, and how to reconcile the adult, freer-thinking you with the child of your youth who did things because your parents told you to.

That's where I'm at now, and I think that's where a lot of early twentysomethings are. I'm at a point where I'm figuring out what was realistic and what was idealistic about my parents' wishes, what i'm comfortable with and what i'd rather change. I'll be the first to admit that it feels awkward most of the time, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

i had to take a pause for the cause.


for this man right here...my new celebrity crush....reggie bush. if you don't agree that this is the finest piece of chocolate you've ever seen....you are either a straight man or you're sleepin'.

okay. maybe not the finest...but is body at least rivals a lot of other cats. and i don't even LIKE footballs players like that.

Thanks to Fresh over at Crunk and Disorderly for the pics.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Africa: We Must Not Forget, We Must Not Give Up

Today I have the great priviledge and honor of having Ms. Minyon Moore as a guest contributor to Ignorant Art. Minyon was the White House Political Director and Director of Public Liaison during the administration of former President Bill Clinton.

I am a proud daughter of the African Diaspora. Born and raised in Chicago, and working in Washington, D.C. I always dreamed of visiting Africa, but I never had the opportunity until I traveled there with President Clinton in March of 1998 – a two-week trip that marked the first time in more than 20 years that an American President had visited sub-Saharan Africa.

This past July, I went back – once again with a delegation of Americans and Europeans headed by Clinton but without the fanfare accompanying a President. In a hectic seven-day, seven-country tour, we visited health clinics, agricultural projects, and met with presidents and their cabinet ministers.

As thrilling as it is to travel with a President and meet with other heads of state, what I remember most from both visits are the children and the young people of Africa. I’ll never forget the little boy in Ghana, eight years ago, who risked being lost in a crowd of 100,000 people so that he could shake hands with President Clinton. I was inspired by the young people who waved American flags during our visit this year, despite how controversial and isolated our country has become throughout the world. And, I still see the images of the children, without shoes and in worn clothes, who ran alongside our motorcade-- rejoicing, laughing, and dancing. Their eyes full of life – and hope. I wondered if they knew how desperately poor they and their countries are. I thought, how can these children be so excited and have so much hope amidst so much despair? If they aren’t giving up hope, then how can we?

According to the World Bank, throughout Sub-Saharan Africa, 218.6 million people – 39.1% of the population – live on less than a dollar a day. According to the United Nations’ Human Development Report in 2003, the poorest 25 nations in the world were all in Africa.

This terrible poverty challenges all of us – from Africans to their kinfolk in the Americas and people of conscience all around the world. For the Africans, the question quite likely is, “What can we do for ourselves?” For everyone else on this planet, the question should be, “What can we do as people of good will to help them see a brighter and healthier future?”

That question has preoccupied Bill Clinton since his final years as President and during the six years since he left office. Without the media attention that the critics and cynics would have expected, Clinton has been addressing this issue here in the U.S. and around the world --how to work with poverty-stricken communities and provide people with the tools, to build better lives for themselves.

In Africa, it’s apparent that there is one overwhelming obstacle to people surviving, much less succeeding. AIDS is still a pandemic in Africa, cutting short people’s lives and jeopardizing entire societies and economies. According to the World Health Organization, only 9 of the 53 African countries have life expectancies of 50 years.
For the past few years, the Clinton Foundation has been working with pharmaceutical companies and African governments and health care professionals to reduce the costs of HIV/AIDS drugs and diagnostics, and to develop and implement plans to deliver tests and medicines to people with HIV/AIDS. During Clinton’s trip to Africa in July, we saw how these efforts are saving people’s lives, especially children. In Lesotho, a small landlocked country in southern Africa, where over 24% of the population is infected with HIV, almost all the people have been tested for the virus. I spoke with women whose children are taking anti-AIDS medicine – and they are alive, active, and healthy.

Africa’s problems and promise involve much more than AIDS. As with poor countries and communities everywhere, poverty results from and is reinforced by a web of problems – poor education, a lack of jobs, the lack of viable industries, a shortage of investment capital, and, ultimately, an absence of hope.

Many of these challenges were addressed throughout the week and at the Leon H. Sullivan Summit. This Summit continues the work of the visionary African American minister who strived to build bridges between the African Diaspora and the continent.

At that meeting, attended by African Americans and Africans, Clinton explained why Africa’s challenges require a collective response, not only by entire countries but by the entire world. “If you look at the miracle economies of Asia, it is not only hard work but the opportunity to be part of a system that will reward your intelligence and hard work,” he said. In Africa, he continued, a system needs to be designed “to improve life, per capita income, agricultural productivity, health, education, energy and water and sanitation.”

Two days before, we had seen how such a system can be created through a new kind of development assistance. We were visiting Malawi, a southeast African nation, with a population of 11.6 million people, 85% of whom live in impoverished rural areas and whose annual income is about $160 – less than 50 cents a day. Together with the Scottish philanthropist Sir Tom Hunter, Clinton has launched a $100 million initiative targeted directly to rural communities to help them improve their own farming, schools, sanitary facilities and water supplies.

We attended the dedication of the pediatric cardiology wing of the Johannesburg Hospital, which has been named for the late Walter Sisulu, a freedom fighter who had been one of Nelson Mandela’s closest friends and allies. When Mandela himself walked through the door, we found ourselves not only participating in the dedication but also the 88th birthday celebration for the first freely elected President of post-apartheid South Africa. While his body is frail and his walk is slower, his mind is alert. Later in the day, he regaled us with the story of how he had been released from prison and allowed to wear a business suit for the first time in decades in order to meet with President Botha in July, 1989, a month before the aging apartheid advocate resigned and made way for F.W. DeKlerk, who would put the country on the path to peaceful change.

Before heading back to the United States, we visited Monrovia, Liberia. The newly elected President, Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, held a town hall forum for young people to talk with Clinton about his foundation and how it would directly help and work with the young people of their country. Sirleaf, an economist who faced down violent and dictatorial forces in her country and ended up beating a soccer star in a free election, is an extraordinarily competent and courageous leader.

But our visit to Liberia offered a distressing glimpse of the problems the she and her country are confronting. When we landed at the airport and began to travel down a long road where, as far as the eye could see, there were small shacks and unspeakable devastation. Once again, we saw the children – children wading in the water because it had rained all day, and the area had begun to flood.

I kept asking myself: In a country that has no electrical grid and runs mostly on generators, what happens when night falls? Where do the children sleep? How do they keep themselves from being bitten by disease-carrying bugs? Where does their food come from? Will these children ever see a book in their lifetime? Will anyone understand that they are God’s children, too? At one point I had to simply close my eyes and repeat the words of the African American anthem, “God of my silent tears.”

That is why it is so important that resourceful people from outside Africa – among them, Oprah Winfrey, who is building a school for girls in South Africa, Bill and Melinda Gates, who are making Africa a focus of their foundation, Alicia Keys who is working to build a medical facility in Durban, Ambassador Andrew Young, Sir Tom Hunter, philanthropists Frank Giustra and Karlheinz Kogel, Chris Tucker, Cicely Tyson, and Bono, to name a few – are all trying to help the people, as partners and not as patrons.

But it is also important that so many lesser-known people, with enormous energy but limited finances are also helping, as volunteers in Africa or as contributors here in America. Even if we only donate to the Clinton Foundation, Africare, Oprah’s Angel Network or charity of your choice, we all can help. Go to your local church or go online and find an organization so that you can volunteer. Visit Africa, you will see first hand the amazing resiliency of these children. No matter how big or small your contribution, you can make a difference.

We all should remember what a blessing it is to have a decent meal, sleep in a warm bed, have shoes on our feet, clothes on our backs, and hope in our hearts. Even now, with the world’s attention turning to the Middle East, we must not forget about, or give up on, Africa. Think of the children. I won’t forget them.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

We love you, Philip Bailey.

Aside from the overall cuteness of the video (peep the phillip bailey "OWWWW!"), i think people are missing the point when they look at this youtube video. Every body and their momma is on some "oh that little girl is gonna be a STAR!" like this is star search or something.

the real poignant piece to this is the fact that at a young age, the little girl is learning how to appreciate good, authentic music. when i was growing up, my dad and i would listen to all of his earth wind and fire tapes in the car on the way to school or to the grocery store on sunday afternoons. it was then that i learned how to really listen to music.

this isn't about a little girl becoming the next American Idol winner or becoming the next alicia keys or any of that nonsense. This girl LOVES MUSIC, and has been taught to do such with a joy and a passion that i feel is lost in today's Laffy Taffy Generation.

THAT'S why these parents--whoever they are--are good parents.

Monday, August 14, 2006

late registration

my brother left home to go to Tuskeegee this evening. he actually graduated last year, but like some students he needed a year to kind of "find himself" and think about what he really wanted to do with himself.

he didn't care about school much, just playin ball and chillin. he went to a community school, and was content with that until he saw more and more of his friends dying in the streets to gangs and guns. he said he had to get out of there.

so one day he just start doing his schoolwork, got a job, and then filled out an application to attend Tuskeegee University.

i couldn't be prouder of my brother today. he made a decision to better himself, and not to be another brother on the corner. i find it interesting/intriguing that he chose the school founded by Booker T. Washington, the great Black thinker who encouraged Black people to think and do for themselves, to 'pull oneself up from the bootstraps' and decide for themselves what they want to be. i feel as though this is a lesson my brother needed to learn. in a way it kept him going.

i IM'd him while he was in the airport today. he told me, "i'm proud of you for graduating and giving me something to follow." that meant a lot to me. my life after graduation isn't perfect and sometimes it feels like i'm not doing anything right, but it's good to know that i've done a few things right and that i can be an example to something else. it's kind of a relief and encouragement to keep going.

Here's to you, John-John. make me proud.

Monday, August 07, 2006

don't date him girl!

i'm sure some of you have heard of this site:

www.dontdatehimgirl.com

the listing of men who are assholes and that women warn that you shouldn't date.

well now there's a spinoff:

www.sorryassbabydaddies.com

i don't know what to say but this just makes my heart hurt. and probably my head hurt too.

as for the former--i can't say there are many men i feel that way about. you know enough to say to other women not to date him. but i don't know how i feel about that concept. i mean just because it didn't work out with me--that doesn't mean that he'll treat her bad too, does it? i just think women let these men get away with stuff and if a woman doesn't take any ish, then she'll save herself from bein in a world of hurt, you know?

i used to date someone who consistently lied to me. he is now dating someone else who i know. do you think i'm callin her, facebookin her, IM'in her on some "don't date him girl!" of course not. who has time for that? and i could be sabotaging something that is good for the both of them.

i mean the other site...i still don't know what to say. i guess i'm at a loss for words.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Loryn's Favorite Things: the sexy love songs edition

Well, as you all may remember i did a favorite things post which talked about various clothes, shoes, cell phones, etc. that i like. this time, i'm going to take a different approach.

on my last go around as a blogger, i had a list of songs on my playlist to "get you in the mood." i was actually in competition to see if i had a better playlist than my boy.


now, contrary to popular belief, I think i came up on top cuz i had more classics ;-) but this time i'm going to do a list of some of my favorite slow jams. this could be long, but i'm gonna keep it at ten.

Maxwell-Til the Cops Come Knockin

do i have to explain about this song? it's so sexy. i mean he hits you with the "lock you up in love for days"! that's crazy to me.

janet jackson-anytime, any place

i don't know what's sexier the song or the video. but this joint will get it poppin fa sho.

prince-do me baby
i'm not going to explain this one. it's prince, dammit.

pharrell williams-take it off (dim the lights)
see, i normally wouldn't include this one, but i think it's just my favorite at the moment. real nice lil track by pharrell on a not so cool album (his solo album was so underwhelming it's sad.)

floetry-say yes
the chorus will get you EV-ER-Y-TIME. all you gotta do is say yes/don't deny what you feel let me undress you baby/open up yr mind and just rest/i'm about to let you know/you make me so...

and anything can be after that "so"! i love it. floetry will be on this list again, trust and believe

R. Kelly-seems like you're ready
now mind you, it's a little creepy, cuz this song COULD be a bout a teenage girl, but it is a classic in the mood song and i don't thinkt there's been anything made that has this sort of quintessential value in the last ten years.

Bob Marley-Turn the Lights Down Low
who DOESN'T like this song? esp. the remake with lauryn hill. real nice, chill out song. makes you wanna grab your sweetheart and just hold each other on the dancefloor and move real slow.

floetry-lay down
if you haven't heard it, you're sleeping.

maxwell-sumthin sumthin (mellosmooth mix)
i mean besides the fact that it's on arguably one of the sexiest soundtracks of all time (love jones)...just a hot song to me. beautifully arranged, lovely falsetto, and it's maxwell.

musiq-settle for my love
i probably need a late pass for this one. but...this song is beautiful, i discovered it just last month. a simply, sweet song. i hear patrice rushen did it first. so if any of you out in cyberspace have a copy of her version, send it on like d'angelo.







Thursday, August 03, 2006

are YOU a sideline hoe?

find out by listening to monica's new song:

http://us.video.aol.com/audio.full.adp?pmmsid=1681092


this is pretty effing hilarious if you ask me. i mean who wants to KNOW their a sideline ho?

who actually WANTS to be the sideline ho? i mean i'm sure somebody wants that position.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

don't forget to apply it DIRECTLY to the FOREHEAD! (thanks, obi)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Is3icfcbmbs&search=HeadOn


My friend hipped me to this on this very morning. Now i didn't see it til i read the wikipedia articl on it. But...This may very well be the WORST commercial of all time. who thinks of these things?

Repetition, however, often does translate into dollars. I guarantee you the next time I am in CVS, I will at least look for some Head-On on account of that damn commercial.

Has anyone else seen this? because I'm surprised i'm just now discovering it.